Happy Birthday Don!
“What the hell is wrong with my life?
My boss is a jerk! And I’m not too crazy about my friends either.”
What’s missing? DON OSBORNE
And guess what? This kickass guy just had a birthday, so take a minute to celebrate his awesomeness
Why do you wake up every morning wishing you were another person, hoping you were making a full full-time passive income online, praying that you get invited to the coolest VIP lounge at the club with the best and richest??
Because you have a LOUSY BOSS that:
- Makes you show up at 8am even though he strolls in at 11:30 with McMuffin in his beard and an empty briefcase
- Wrote you up the time you brought a hotplate, salami and bread to work and tried to get a panini going
- Fired you the time you broadcasted yourself on CAM4
- Hands you paychecks that an Apple worker in China would laugh at
No wonder you can’t stand life!
But that’s only HALF the reason why your life sucks
Because your friends suck too.
(They suck even worse than your boss because you’re supposed to like them, but you don’t actually enjoy their company at all, and at least your boss pays you)
You have WORTHLESS FRIENDS that:
- Are somehow lame, boring, unfunny, and cheap all at the same time
- Have terrible taste in EVERYTHING
- Never drive you anywhere
That’s where DON OSBORNE comes in. He’s the opposite of all the shit you hate about your friends and boss, all rolled into one REVOLUTIONARY human being that simultaneously enlightens, entertains, and educates.
It’s Scientific! DON OSBORNE in your life produces happiness
If logic and reason won’t convince you, maybe science can:
You’ll find an all-around amazing person in DON OSBORNE, so snatch him up now!
Happy birthday Don!